Showing posts with label ego. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ego. Show all posts

Sunday, 20 March 2016

Frustration, Elation, Acceptance

As the week 3 in Mysore draws to an end I sit and reflect on the week's practice and how it has left me feeling.

The start of the week the emotion was frustration, I seemed to move backwards even in postures that were familiar to me and that I have been doing for many years. Then on Monday Saraswathi 'gave' me bhujapidasana (even though I need help with the binding in Marichasana D) so I tried my best, but still fell back on my butt like a sack of spuds!!
The other frustration was not being able to bring my right leg into half lotus at all due to the screaming pain on the outside of the knee (which Dr.Google and numerous anatomical chats with fellow yogi's leads me to believe I have strained my LCL, lateral collateral ligament) so I am doing my own modifications for all postures that involve the half lotus.

Then, on Tuesday (which also happened to be my birthday) I felt clunky and unelegant and was feeling low. Despite this I did my best attempt at bhujapidasana...held with feet just off the floor for 5 breaths and lowered head down...on coming up and taking my vinyasa after Saraswathi booms over from 2 mats left 'bhujapidasana you did???' I said 'yes', and she gave me a huge smile and said 'is coming' and I smiled back, I had to then hide my face as the ego took over and I felt such feelings of elation and pride I was ecstatic, and reader, I don't mind admitting, tearful!!!

Sharath demonstrating Bhujapidasana in the Astanga Yoga Anusthana


The latter part of the week I have been much more reflective and have come to an acceptance of what will be will be, the phrase 'practice and all is coming' is quite over used, but there is good reason for this, Ashtanga is not an easy practice and even though I can do some of the poses later in the series my body is saying, slow down, keep at it, and with faith and perseverance it will come.

Sharath talked a lot in conference this week of the other well used phrase of Guruji's, Yoga is 99% practice and 1% theory, this meaning not just asana but the first four limbs of yoga, practicing your yama, niyama, asana and pranayama.
Yes, read all about it, I'm still ploughing through the Hatha Yoga Pradipika, and have read Ashtanga Yoga Anusthana but the real yoga comes from DOING and understanding it through practice.
Practice, Practice, Practice.

Accepting where you are today is a humbling experience, in fact Ashtanga Yoga in Mysore is a humbling experience, yet one I am learning from and growing in each day.
Being thankful for what we have is not easy in the Western world, but is so easy to understand here in India.

Thank you to this wonderful woman who has scared the living daylights out of me, yet made me feel like the richest person alive, and helped me to accept where I am, and keep the ego at bay.

Looking like a giant next to the small but non the less terrifying Saraswathi 


Friday, 19 February 2016

Waiting, Worrying and Aching!

It's only one week until my departure, yep, things are getting real!

I'm currently housebound waiting for the courier to deliver my passport and Indian Visa once that is done then all I have left to 'worry' about is the new injury I acquired yesterday (more on this in a mo) and whether I will be able to lose my ego in Mysore and not care that I can't do half lotus.....

So, a big part of yoga is letting go, and letting go of the EGO. I read this lovely post on Instagram earlier -
Woman says to Buddha ' I want Happiness' He replies - 'get rid of I for that is the ego, get rid of want for that is desire, and all you are left with is happiness'

Soo....I no longer will want to get into half lotus, I will endeavour to let go of the ego (the inner voice over) and think 'so what' ?? So what if I am worrying, and aching and spinning myself into a tizzy over this pose. Practice and it will come.
So what if I can't hold my headstand for the full 25 breaths, and so what if I forget the sequence. I am going to LEARN.

So yeah, so what if I pulled a muscle (or something) in my Lattimus Dorsi yesterday, today I did a gentle practice (not Ashtanga) with some Yin style hip openers (to work towards that elusive lotus) and guess what, I felt ok with that.

So, here is my 'humble' child's pose to say, Mysore I am almost coming for you, and I accept where I am today, and where I will be tomorrow, and that's ok. Let that sh*t go! Lose the ego, practice and all is coming.....to be continued!!