Frustration, Elation, Acceptance

As the week 3 in Mysore draws to an end I sit and reflect on the week's practice and how it has left me feeling.

The start of the week the emotion was frustration, I seemed to move backwards even in postures that were familiar to me and that I have been doing for many years. Then on Monday Saraswathi 'gave' me bhujapidasana (even though I need help with the binding in Marichasana D) so I tried my best, but still fell back on my butt like a sack of spuds!!
The other frustration was not being able to bring my right leg into half lotus at all due to the screaming pain on the outside of the knee (which Dr.Google and numerous anatomical chats with fellow yogi's leads me to believe I have strained my LCL, lateral collateral ligament) so I am doing my own modifications for all postures that involve the half lotus.

Then, on Tuesday (which also happened to be my birthday) I felt clunky and unelegant and was feeling low. Despite this I did my best attempt at bhujapidasana...held with feet just off the floor for 5 breaths and lowered head down...on coming up and taking my vinyasa after Saraswathi booms over from 2 mats left 'bhujapidasana you did???' I said 'yes', and she gave me a huge smile and said 'is coming' and I smiled back, I had to then hide my face as the ego took over and I felt such feelings of elation and pride I was ecstatic, and reader, I don't mind admitting, tearful!!!

Sharath demonstrating Bhujapidasana in the Astanga Yoga Anusthana

The latter part of the week I have been much more reflective and have come to an acceptance of what will be will be, the phrase 'practice and all is coming' is quite over used, but there is good reason for this, Ashtanga is not an easy practice and even though I can do some of the poses later in the series my body is saying, slow down, keep at it, and with faith and perseverance it will come.

Sharath talked a lot in conference this week of the other well used phrase of Guruji's, Yoga is 99% practice and 1% theory, this meaning not just asana but the first four limbs of yoga, practicing your yama, niyama, asana and pranayama.
Yes, read all about it, I'm still ploughing through the Hatha Yoga Pradipika, and have read Ashtanga Yoga Anusthana but the real yoga comes from DOING and understanding it through practice.
Practice, Practice, Practice.

Accepting where you are today is a humbling experience, in fact Ashtanga Yoga in Mysore is a humbling experience, yet one I am learning from and growing in each day.
Being thankful for what we have is not easy in the Western world, but is so easy to understand here in India.

Thank you to this wonderful woman who has scared the living daylights out of me, yet made me feel like the richest person alive, and helped me to accept where I am, and keep the ego at bay.

Looking like a giant next to the small but non the less terrifying Saraswathi 

Week Two Ashtanga practice

As week two closed I have moved on one posture to navasana, and in fact having a little go in Bujupindasana too (but not quite there)

Knee pain returned this week. Apparently this comes from a tightness in the hips and is probably not related to my old injury which caused some osteoporosis.
But by Friday it was agony to even bend my knee. So, of course I refer to my physio, Dr.Google and can find many articles on this. So, after reading some articles, in particular this one - link to article elephant journal I have decided to take heed to these words:

'Progression is not the attainment of the posture. It’s the deepening of your understanding of the process. It’s your relationship to the process. It’s your state of being and presence on the mat'

The words resonate with me, and this is something that I will try to remember, when I get stressed on the mat because of physical pain that is hindering my progression. I will remember that there is something that I need to understand and work through and to stay present on the mat. I never would have expected to complete the primary series whilst here, and in fact have got further than I imagined in two weeks and at one point on Friday I felt quite low and sad about this. I'm pretty sure that this is because of the ego, and that I want to be able to learn as much as I can whilst here. And also to continue my practice when I leave Mysore until I can complete the wholes series (luckily after Supta Konoasana I find it all physically achievable!)

So there we are, no great philosophical ramblings today, just an update on where I'm at, and a reminder from Sharath in conference that the asanas (postures) are only there so that the mind can be steadied and calmed to prepare you for pranayama and ultimately meditation. 

not my knee! picture taken also from Elephant Journal