Frustration, Elation, Acceptance

As the week 3 in Mysore draws to an end I sit and reflect on the week's practice and how it has left me feeling.

The start of the week the emotion was frustration, I seemed to move backwards even in postures that were familiar to me and that I have been doing for many years. Then on Monday Saraswathi 'gave' me bhujapidasana (even though I need help with the binding in Marichasana D) so I tried my best, but still fell back on my butt like a sack of spuds!!
The other frustration was not being able to bring my right leg into half lotus at all due to the screaming pain on the outside of the knee (which Dr.Google and numerous anatomical chats with fellow yogi's leads me to believe I have strained my LCL, lateral collateral ligament) so I am doing my own modifications for all postures that involve the half lotus.

Then, on Tuesday (which also happened to be my birthday) I felt clunky and unelegant and was feeling low. Despite this I did my best attempt at bhujapidasana...held with feet just off the floor for 5 breaths and lowered head down...on coming up and taking my vinyasa after Saraswathi booms over from 2 mats left 'bhujapidasana you did???' I said 'yes', and she gave me a huge smile and said 'is coming' and I smiled back, I had to then hide my face as the ego took over and I felt such feelings of elation and pride I was ecstatic, and reader, I don't mind admitting, tearful!!!

Sharath demonstrating Bhujapidasana in the Astanga Yoga Anusthana

The latter part of the week I have been much more reflective and have come to an acceptance of what will be will be, the phrase 'practice and all is coming' is quite over used, but there is good reason for this, Ashtanga is not an easy practice and even though I can do some of the poses later in the series my body is saying, slow down, keep at it, and with faith and perseverance it will come.

Sharath talked a lot in conference this week of the other well used phrase of Guruji's, Yoga is 99% practice and 1% theory, this meaning not just asana but the first four limbs of yoga, practicing your yama, niyama, asana and pranayama.
Yes, read all about it, I'm still ploughing through the Hatha Yoga Pradipika, and have read Ashtanga Yoga Anusthana but the real yoga comes from DOING and understanding it through practice.
Practice, Practice, Practice.

Accepting where you are today is a humbling experience, in fact Ashtanga Yoga in Mysore is a humbling experience, yet one I am learning from and growing in each day.
Being thankful for what we have is not easy in the Western world, but is so easy to understand here in India.

Thank you to this wonderful woman who has scared the living daylights out of me, yet made me feel like the richest person alive, and helped me to accept where I am, and keep the ego at bay.

Looking like a giant next to the small but non the less terrifying Saraswathi 

End of Week 1

I can hardly believe a whole week has flown by so quickly!

So after my hard first day, day 2 was even harder, as you would expect the muscles started to complain, especially after being hit with a 4.30 start, which is really 4.15 as 'shala time' is 15 minutes early.

There are a few aspects of this unearthly hour I really love, it's very quite, calm and cooler. The shala has a lovely calm energy about it, all you can hear is the ocean like sound of the ujayi breath.
Saraswathi comes in a little after us and we have the opening prayer with her, which I am hoping to learn by next week, although it is becoming familiar already.

As for practice, well apart from wishing the series didn't have so many bleepin' vinyasas (read chattaranga specifically) I am really enjoying it. I am moving further and deeper and am happy to have assists from Saraswathi and her assistants in Marichyasana B, C and even an attempt at D.

I'm wondering if both belly and boobs* are hindering the elusive twist in D, and I also do not enjoy the twist in twisted extended side angle (Parivrta Parsvakonasana) it feels like I can't breath calmly and steadily.

*both of mine, whilst a dress size 10, are considered 'large' in Ashtanga terms....but more on this another day.

A few points of note from practice this week - I'm trying to stay focused and leave ego out of the shala, I think I am doing quite well, I can relate this feeling to being a beginner surfer and seeing all the people 'out the back' catching and ripping every wave. Everyone has to start somewhere. Sometime in the line up, especially when I was in Indonesia, or even Putsborough, I felt like I didn't belong and I was getting in the way.
Well I feel a little like this, but then I 'have a word with myself' and think, who cares? everyone is probably so hung up in their own insecurities to worry I am not in the right place and I am only here doing doing this to deepen my practice, learn at the source from one of the Guru's and be able to use the experience to enhance my teaching.  (not to prove anything to anyone)

Today is a rest day, and my body is ready for that rest. We have conference in a short while with Sharath, so this will be the first day I see him 'in the flesh' !!! I am really looking forward to this experience.
Tomorrow is lead class so that will be another new experience and then Monday back to 4.30am practice.

So many things to love about Ashtanga, specifically Mysore style, but I will have to post this another time, including my thoughts on chanting, so for now I will leave you with a picture of the sunsetting last night as I haven't had the time or inclination to take any yoga selfies yet!!!